LALALALALALA

Dear ex-roomies (and non-official roomies who hung out in our apartment last year):

Contents of my fridge:
spaghetti sauce
milk
hard cider
salad dressing
butter
ketchup

As, you can see, I have no food. Please live with me again so we can cook dinners again and I can eat.

LAAAAAAA LAAAAAAAaaaa LAAAAAAAAAAa

Love, me

P.S. I will give you a MILLION Stanley nickels if you write my paper for me tonight!